worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
