Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
