my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
