im drinking this country out of the recession.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
