There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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