Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
