hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
