Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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