yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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