just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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