Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
