I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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