So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
