You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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