her vagine was all disorganized.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
