like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
