yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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