There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
