I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
