Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
