do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
