I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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