Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we're making bets on your personal life
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
