So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
