Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
