did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
