it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I need to stop coming to work sober
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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