her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
