I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
