Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
