i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
