omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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