bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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