just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
two words...techno handjob
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
