Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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