So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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