I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
