We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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