I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
