the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
