there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
