yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
