from now on my penis is your penis
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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