The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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