We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
