In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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