No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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