The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
