And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
