My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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